Contributed by Emily Fairweather.
Did you know you have the power and ability to make a difference to your own happiness levels? Science tells us so, actually.
We are genetically predisposed to have a certain happiness “setpoint”, however this only accounts for 50% of the difference in happiness levels between us and someone else.
Our life situation or circumstances accounts for 10% of the difference in happiness levels and the remaining 40% is linked to intentional activity, or in other words… IS UP TO US.
Did you get that? 40% of the difference in your happiness, compared to someone else’s comes down to your own thoughts, actions and behaviours!
How cool is that??
Your job now is to discover, create and explore what those intentional actions actually are. Below are some ideas for you to consider. These activities prove again and again to be some of the quickest, most effective ways to turn that frown upside down.
So here they are!
- Cultivate a gratitude practice.
- Exercise (for your brain, AS WELL as your body)
- Let go of what you can’t control and accept what is.
- Strengthen your relationships and build connection.
- Be here now. Be present and in the moment.
Here is some more information on each of these, to get your brain ticking over…
GRATITUDE PRACTICE
Gratitude is the noticing of, and intense appreciation of the things, events and people around us and is one of the best ways to fast track a boost in your happiness!
Some simple ways you can practice gratitude:
✅ Record 3 things you’re grateful for every morning (or night) in a journal or app.
✅ Write a gratitude letter to someone who you’re thankful for and have never had the chance to tell them (you don’t even have to send it, but the benefits are amplified if you do!)
✅ Make it a habit to tell a spouse, friend or colleague something you appreciate about them every day.
✅ Start a gratitude jar. Every time you think of something you’re grateful for, write it on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Then open the jar on a special date like Christmas or your birthday and read over what you’ve written! .
It’s impossible to be grateful and negative at the same time. So have fun with it and be prepared to see the world through new eyes!
EXERCISE
You probably didn’t know that exercise is good for more than JUST your body.
Or maybe you did. But this is a little reminder about why exercise is sooo good for us.
Happy brain chemicals! Hello dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin! Not only do these chemicals make us feel happier, they also improve concentration, motivation and memory. The also prevent the degeneration of the hippocampus, an important part of the brain for memory and learning. So work out to keep that brain sexy people!
These brain chemicals have other cool side effects too like reducing stress, alleviating anxiety and even helping control addiction problems. I’m sure I’m not the only one to have found a workout after a stressful day the BEST way to leave the day behind and reset the mind. Not only can it alleviate stress from a particular day, but it can also make me more resistant to stress the following day. Pretty cool knock on effect if you ask me.
Exercise can:
✅ get you out of your mind and into your body
✅ give you more energy
✅ help you sleep better
✅ promote your circadian rhythms
✅ improved self confidence, self-esteem,
✅ sense of self-worth
✅ tone, shape and strengthen your body (of course!)
LET IT GO
Let go of what you can’t control and accept what is!
Is control something you struggle with? Do you find it difficult to ‘let go’? Of past transgressions, of bad things that happened, of people who have ‘wronged’ you, or of old thoughts or patterns that no longer serve you?
We’re only human and we’re lucky to have pretty sophisticated brains. But when we get stuck in rumination or obsessing about things, our brains work against us and it can feel overwhelming and get us down. .
One perspective-giving trick is to ask yourself, ‘What is within my control? What can I do about it?’
And then act on the insight. Do what you CAN do.
But acknowledge what you can’t control and ACCEPT that reality.
There is absolutely NO point in losing energy or brain power over worrying about or thinking about something you cannot control. This includes what happened in your past or what might happen in your future. And it especially includes what someone else does, says or thinks!
Letting go of what you can’t control is one side of the coin; but also also ask yourself where you need to take MORE control of your life. You’re the author of your own story so what happens next is up to you.
The Serenity Prayer made famous by Alcoholics Anonymous sums it up perfectly:
“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
So what are you letting go of today? Or conversely, where are you taking back control?
OTHER PEOPLE MATTER
Strengthen your relationships and build connection with others!
Chris Peterson, one of the founders of positive psychology puts it simply: “Other people matter”.
We are wired to be social creatures. Even the most shy, introverted and independent of us. Back in the day, we wouldn’t have survived without the safety of our tribe. More than just survival and a sense of belonging though, our relationships also keep us healthy.
Studies have shown that NOT having close personal relationships can pose the same level of health risk as smoking or obesity… I found that pretty surprising!
The best and most beneficial relationships to our psychological wellbeing are those that are close, secure and and supportive.
Have you got friends/colleagues/partner in your life who can have fun with, talk openly with, feel understood by, give and receive support and share new experiences?
When was the last time you invested energy into a relationship that’s important to you?
Maybe this can inspire you to inject some energy into a relationship you treasure. ️
BE HERE NOW
Finally, mindfulness. I talk about presence a lot – the more scientific term is mindfulness and all that means is bringing awareness into your body and thoughts and noticing what’s going on in the moment. It’s being in the here and now, in the present moment. There is sooooo much power in this! A quote that that sums this up nicely…
“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) ️
So quick recap, approximately 40% of the difference in our happiness compared to someone else’s, is linked to intentional activity…
This article lists 5 possible actions you can take right now to boost your mood.
Alternatively, this may have given you food for thought and remember; even when it doesn’t feel like it, you have more choice and power than you realise to redirect your mood (and the direction of your life).
The more intentional you are, the more transformation you will see.
If you’re intrigued by the happiness setpoint concept, check out ‘The How of Happiness’ by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Emily Fairweather is a Positive Coach
